Flee, Be Silent, and Pray
I'm reading a lot of Henri Nouwen lately, and came across a little book he wrote back in 1981 called The Way of the Heart. Nouwen, a Dutch-born Catholic priest who spent a good bit of his adult life working with the severely mentally disabled at a home in Canada has written a ton of books, mostly centered about living a vibrant devotion to God and Christ in a world that places a premium on self-indulgence and despair. Nouwen's work is infused with a very real understanding of the existential trauma individuals suffered under during the arms build-up of the early 1980s and the effect the haunting specter of nuclear annihilation had on Americans' beings.
In The Way of the Heart, Nouwen draws from the early desert mothers and fathers of the Christian faith who lived as hermits throughout the Middle East and North Africa. Their lives centered around three missions that God supposedly revealed to one of them (Abba Arsenius) in what is now known as Egypt. God told Arsenius to flee, be silent, and pray. Nouwen's exhortation to use these three practices as tools to strengthen the Spirit in us was incredibly moving to me, so I wanted to take a moment and share them with you. I'm a little worried this will get long, so I'll write about 'fleeing' today, and follow up with silence and prayer.
The first step is to 'flee'. According to Nouwen, "There is seldom a period in which we do not know what to do, and we move through life in such a distracted way that we do not even take the time and rest to wonder if any of the things we think, say, or do are worth thinking, saying, or doing. We simply go along with the many 'musts' and 'oughts' that have been handed to us, and we live with them as if they were authentic translations of the Gospel of our Lord" (21-22).
We go through the motions of life, we might even do a decent job of managing our lives, but we fail to live our lives in connection with the source of our being. How do we change this? By doing the very thing that scares the snot out of most of us -- we shut out the distractions we encounter in life (turn off the phone, computer, radio, and TV), send the family away, tell our daydreams and fantasies to float off for a while, and just BE.
Nouwen writes, "Solitude is the place of the great struggle and the great encounter -- the struggle against the compulsions of the false self, and the encounter with the loving God who offers himself as the substance of the new self" (26). We set time apart and our mind wanders, fears emerge, to-do lists crop up, old angers and resentments surface. We feel weak and distracted. All good! Those are 'the compulsions of the old self'. We realize their presence, and in that moment, we begin our rebirth.
Nouwen warns against too much self-congratulation at this point. "Anyone who wants to fight his demons with his own weapons in a fool" (28). The compulsions are transformed through the encounter with Christ. But this "encounter does not take place before, after, or beyond the struggle with our false self and its demons. No, it is precisely in the midst of this struggle that our Lord comes to us" and reminds us of God's presence at our side and in our being (29).
The only way to transformation is through the recognition, rejection, and reconstruction of our self. Time apart highlights our demons in technicolor (one of the reasons so many of us are so scared to be alone -- we prefer the palliative of over-stimulation). Those demons are often pretty ugly, and when we stop for a second, we see how they cripple us and we try to renounce them. It is in this moment that we find the God that dwells within us, the God that has always been there preparing us. We sense the strength and love of God in us and begin the process of reforming our hearts to better reflect this God we carry. It may not happen in a day (or a week, a month, five years!), but it happens.
How can we find this time apart in our lives? I take a half hour each morning to just sit. For those of us who take public transportation every day, that can be a sacred time of solitude (as can driving -- just make sure you're not so focused on tuning out that you don't pay attention to the road!). Running, walking the dog, washing the dishes -- all are moments we can turn off our mental commentary on life and BE. Maybe try it this week and see what demons show themselves. You don't have to try to slay them right now; just become mindful of your inventory. You could also look for the God that dwells in you and see what God has to say about those demons. They might not look so scary after all.
Love,
Becky
In The Way of the Heart, Nouwen draws from the early desert mothers and fathers of the Christian faith who lived as hermits throughout the Middle East and North Africa. Their lives centered around three missions that God supposedly revealed to one of them (Abba Arsenius) in what is now known as Egypt. God told Arsenius to flee, be silent, and pray. Nouwen's exhortation to use these three practices as tools to strengthen the Spirit in us was incredibly moving to me, so I wanted to take a moment and share them with you. I'm a little worried this will get long, so I'll write about 'fleeing' today, and follow up with silence and prayer.
The first step is to 'flee'. According to Nouwen, "There is seldom a period in which we do not know what to do, and we move through life in such a distracted way that we do not even take the time and rest to wonder if any of the things we think, say, or do are worth thinking, saying, or doing. We simply go along with the many 'musts' and 'oughts' that have been handed to us, and we live with them as if they were authentic translations of the Gospel of our Lord" (21-22).
We go through the motions of life, we might even do a decent job of managing our lives, but we fail to live our lives in connection with the source of our being. How do we change this? By doing the very thing that scares the snot out of most of us -- we shut out the distractions we encounter in life (turn off the phone, computer, radio, and TV), send the family away, tell our daydreams and fantasies to float off for a while, and just BE.
Nouwen writes, "Solitude is the place of the great struggle and the great encounter -- the struggle against the compulsions of the false self, and the encounter with the loving God who offers himself as the substance of the new self" (26). We set time apart and our mind wanders, fears emerge, to-do lists crop up, old angers and resentments surface. We feel weak and distracted. All good! Those are 'the compulsions of the old self'. We realize their presence, and in that moment, we begin our rebirth.
Nouwen warns against too much self-congratulation at this point. "Anyone who wants to fight his demons with his own weapons in a fool" (28). The compulsions are transformed through the encounter with Christ. But this "encounter does not take place before, after, or beyond the struggle with our false self and its demons. No, it is precisely in the midst of this struggle that our Lord comes to us" and reminds us of God's presence at our side and in our being (29).
The only way to transformation is through the recognition, rejection, and reconstruction of our self. Time apart highlights our demons in technicolor (one of the reasons so many of us are so scared to be alone -- we prefer the palliative of over-stimulation). Those demons are often pretty ugly, and when we stop for a second, we see how they cripple us and we try to renounce them. It is in this moment that we find the God that dwells within us, the God that has always been there preparing us. We sense the strength and love of God in us and begin the process of reforming our hearts to better reflect this God we carry. It may not happen in a day (or a week, a month, five years!), but it happens.
How can we find this time apart in our lives? I take a half hour each morning to just sit. For those of us who take public transportation every day, that can be a sacred time of solitude (as can driving -- just make sure you're not so focused on tuning out that you don't pay attention to the road!). Running, walking the dog, washing the dishes -- all are moments we can turn off our mental commentary on life and BE. Maybe try it this week and see what demons show themselves. You don't have to try to slay them right now; just become mindful of your inventory. You could also look for the God that dwells in you and see what God has to say about those demons. They might not look so scary after all.
Love,
Becky
posted by Becky at 8/12/2006 06:53:00 AM
2 Comments:
Greetings of peace,
I'm a fellow columnist at UPI and read your heart-rendering article on Gunter Grass today.
Thank you for writing such a nuanced article:
But the real difficulty comes with the fact that we have a tendency to assume that moral authority resides most firmly with the innocent.
That fact can make us choke but it is true nevertheless. The sooner we are able to see beyond easy stereotypes and look more deeply into ourselves and our behavior, the better the world will become.
Warmly,
Baraka
becky,
thanks so much for sharing something so important about what is going on in your life and so crucial for everyone to understand. certainly God does reveal truth to us through times spent in peace where we can really hear the voice of God. i find myself often running around and not fully allowing the Holy Spirit to move within me and submit to what God's will might be. i also think it's worth mentioning that God does not speak to us or reveal truth to us for our sake alone. rather God blesses us so that we might be a blessing to others. exactly what Philippians 2 at the bottom of your blog says "Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourself. Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others." that's why i'm so excited you are sharing what God is teaching you with all of us through your blog. and also excited about the potential for you to share truth with everyone else in your life. i think it's a constant process of fleeing sin to hear God and then sharing God's truth with all those around us so that everyone might come to know of God's amazing love for them.
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